The largest condom factory in the United States was destroyed by fire.
The phone rang at 4 a.m., waking President Biden up.
“Sir, I apologize for bothering you at this hour, but there is an emergency! I just got word that the Durex facility in Washington had burned down. It is expected that the entire supply of condoms in the United States would be depleted by the end of the week.”
Biden exclaims, “Oh no! All those unwanted infants will never be able to support the economy. We’ll be destroyed. Condoms will have to be shipped in from Mexico.”
The telephone voice exclaims, “Awful concept… This one will be a hit with the Mexicans. We’ll be made fun of. What about our neighbors up north?”
Biden says, “Okay, I’ll phone Justin and tell him we need five million ten-inch-long, three-inch-wide condoms. That way, they’ll continue to respect us as Americans.”
Three days later, President Biden dashed out the door to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches wide, exactly as requested. All colored with red maple leaves and in small writing saying, “Made In Canada / Size: Small.”