NAPOLEON BONERPARTE

 
Katılım: 14.05.2015
Don't Look Back! You're Not Going That Way!
Sonraki seviye: 
Points needed: 3

The Perfect Man

 

Subject:Frank Feldman (Any resemblance to any living man is purely coincidental!)

 

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

 

Passenger: 'Who?'

 

 

 

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right all the time.Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

 

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
 

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star; and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

 

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

 

Cabbie: "There's more… He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
 
 
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in
the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
 
 
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
 

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his ****** widow!"