Recently, I heard one wag postulate that Americans were addicted to being offended. As I considered "cultural appropriation" (guess there goes taco night), announcements about what pronoun to use for each individual ("they?" really? I mean, if you don't know how many you are, maybe it's time for analysis), American imperialism (where oh where are our lovely colonies supplying all of our tax money so we don't have to), a singular lovely thought began to emerge.

What if they all just got together in church basements and supported each other anonymously, leaving the rest of us the hell alone? :-)