How can you call someone your friend that deliberately hurts your feelings?   I have some people in my live that I used to call my friends.   Lately I am beginning to wonder how I can still call them my friends when they are deliberately hurting my feelings?     Not only was I told that I was useless and I was not trusted and I could leave, but even more so I had something I had wanted very much dangled in front of me and pulled away.   The thing is because when the revelation came was after a fight I do not know if it is real or if it was just said to hurt me more.   I wanted this with all my heart a couple months ago but I came to the realization I would never get it a couple weeks ago so I gave up hoping.  For them to bring it up tonight after a fight hurts worse, and part of the things that were said were said to hurt on purpose. 

     How do you go from being always in someone's heart, and being a very special person that never should forget that and being loved in January to being useless and not trusted and sent away in June?  

     I really got to stop caring.  I need to figure out how to brake my give a damn.   If I did not give a damn maybe my heart would not hurt so much.  

     Friends can fight and get over it, but real friends even when they are mad have certain lines they do not cross because it will hurt their friends too much.   Fighting with a friend is one thing totally destroying a friend is another.

     Wanna hear something ironic I am in possession of a little info that would have made someone's day, and because of the deliberately hurtful words that were spoken to me tonight no one will ever know what I know.