1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry man who made you that way.


2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking
you.


3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got paid.


4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I
get.


5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.


6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.


7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. !   I don't want to catch whatever you have.


8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.


9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask , 
Because you are my friend".


Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only
you can feel the true warmth.